Today I found my blog on my Google Reader and as I was scanning through my new posts to see how they looked, I ran into my old posts from Korea! I scrolled through them and reread some and I just can't believe how much I've have grown and changed since then. I actually really miss it there and know that I let my emotions drive me so much there and made some really bad decision. Eek! What a baby I was... and the posts I read were only two years ago! Ah! I am hoping that as I continue to learn more about myself during this process of self-discovery, I will learn to base my decisions and judgments more rationally than emotionally.
Then onto my funk....
So my runs have been amazing this week but I somehow cannot get control over my diet. I've been so good with my food journal and keeping my calories low and getting enough protein for the last several weeks.... but the last couple of days I've let it slip and have been so ashamed of what I have had to eat that I would scratch out my food journal for that day and not even acknowledge what that day just meant in calories. It's only been two days that I scratched out my daily food journal post in frustration.. but still.
This last weekend I weighed myself and saw that I have lost 10 lbs since beginning the program! And I've been progressing in my daily runs... when we have our 50 minute days, I'm up to 4 miles. Making that progress I've finally begun to feel proud of myself and have started telling people about my journey. It's amazing but I'm scared that somehow I'm now sabotaging my progress.
What has gotten into me and why can't I stop eating crap? And why is this happening when my runs are finally where they need to be and when I finally felt proud of my progress?
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